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So Emmitt absolutely loves the phone. Understandable, of course...I mean it's something you hold in your hand and voices magically come out of it. And unlike the Elmo remote control he has, the words and voices are different each time you use it. What's not to love?
So I shouldn't have been surprised when I was working in the living room this morning and my mother popped up on Instant Messenger.
Vickie: Emmitt is calling me on the phone right now in case you didn't know
Well, no, actually I didn't know.
So I headed out to the porch where sure enough, Emmitt was standing there watching some cartoons with the phone pressed to his face and I could hear my mom talking through the receiver to him.
Of course unlike Nora, who talks your ear off, Emmitt only says "uh-huh" when he's on the phone.
When I asked for the phone, he said "no" ran into the play tent they have. I peeked in there in time to see him press a few buttons and laugh hysterically.
Once I got the phone, mom told me the story.
Apparently her phone rang and she picked it up assuming I was calling to chat about the conference, since we'd been working on sponsor pitches this morning. Instead, she got the sound of Jack's Big Music show. Now safe guess would have been Elnora, since she loves to call the grandmas and talk. But when Nora didn't answer, mom figured it out.
Mom: Is that you Emmitt?
Emmitt: Uh-huh
Mom: Are you watching cartoons?
Emmitt: Uh-huh
Mom: Did you have breakfast today?
Emmitt: Uh-huh
Mom: What did you have for breakfast?
Emmitt: Uh-huh (which is better than the real response of juice, honey nut cheerios and rice krispie treats)
That's about the time she sent me the message on Gtalk. ;)
Overall, I guess if he was going to steal the phone and make a call, he did good. Better than having the pizza man or the police show up at the front door, right?
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One of the things that has really amazed me about watching the kids in the last six months is the sibling relationship that forms. Yes, I know that often means tears and fights, but it also means some of the most heartwarming (and hysterical) things you'll ever see.
Elnora's three and a half right now and Emmitt is twenty months. While they do their share of fighting, they mostly get along really well. In fact, I've seen a few really awesome things this past week.
1.) We learned Emmitt can count to ten! This is impressive since Elnora only learned to do it a few weeks ago. Apparently Emmitt picked up on all her practice. Very cool how the little ones learn from the older ones.
2.) Elnora wants nothing more than to "play with Emmitt." When he naps, she sits around asking when he's going to wake up. The second she hears him, she races into his room, climbs into his crib and they "jump" together.
3.) Emmitt wants nothing more than to make Nora happy. He's always trying to share things with her or do things that will make her smile. Yesterday, she lost her stuffed elephant (her favorite) and was running all over the house trying to find it. In a matter of moments Emmitt came trucking into the room, holding Elephant and sporting a huge grin. He ran up to Nora and handed elephant over. Nora responded with a "thank you!!!" and a big hug. Too cute.
Now we get our share of tears too. Just this morning he went out on the porch to play with her and she yelled at him to go away. He came in to see me bawling, so I called her. We had a little chat about how everyone was allowed to play on the porch, so she asked Emmitt if he wanted to come with her and then they held hands as they walked back out there. Too cute x2. ;)
Of course all of this is made funnier by the fact that Nora has three post-it notes with scribbles pasted to her door. She tells us on a regular basis they say "Emmitt, you no go in here!" She tells Emmitt this on a regular basis too...
Either way, I guess it's like everything else with kids. They're either making your heart melt, or your head asplode.
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The first of two posts today where I'll be asking for your help.
I've been out of town (down in Houston preparing for our upcoming Search Engine Guide conference) which hasn't left me much time for posting, but I've had a few things come up.
First, we had our appointment yesterday with the ENT specialist for Emmitt. You might remember that he had a killer of an ear infection around Thanksgiving last year. Three rounds of oral antibiotics and two direct injections cleared it up a bit, but due to the intensity of the infection, our Ped referred us to a specialist.
Yesterday was that appointment and I was disappointed to learn Emmitt STILL has fluid in his ears. To make it worse, hat fluid is on its way to getting infected again. The ENT said they generally either look for three bad ear infections over six months OR one really bad infection that resists treatment for three months before they do tubes.
We're more than two months into this current infection.
So, here's the plan.
He gave us another round or oral antibiotics (the strongest of the three we tried last time) to see if we can clear this up. It could be purely an anatomical issue, or it could be an immune issue as in he just can't fight off the infection all the way. We go back in three weeks. If it's cleared up, there will be no push for tubes. If it doesn't clear up, he'll push for tubes.
Now, I'm not a paranoid mother at all. BUT...the idea of general anesthesia terrifies me. Absolutely terrifies me. I'm also not a fan of any surgery that isn't 100% necessary. So, I'm in process of exploring our options. Here's what I've got so far, would love input from anyone with knowledge in this area.
1.) Breast milk. I've still got that 200 oz in the basement. While I assume it's too old to be good, easy enough to find out. I'll be thawing out two bottles today. If it's good, he's going to get it in his sippy the next two weeks.
2.) Cutting out dairy. I know dairy contributes to mucus which contributes to fluid in the ears. We'll be cutting out cow's milk for the next couple weeks for him. (or, at least dramatically reducing it if the breast milk isn't good.)
3.) Chiropractic care. I called my chiro yesterday and he said he often does adjustments on toddlers to help clear sinuses and improve drainage. I'm going to take Emmitt down later today for his first adjustment.
4.) The antibiotics. I'm not a fan of them, but I'm willing to give them a go in conjunction with the rest of this if it lowers the chance of needing tubes.
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One of the most interesting things about having kids is the ideas they bring home with them. While I'm home full time with Nora and Emmitt, they certainly have plenty of outside influences.
They spend an hour and a half in Sunday School each week. They go to Mango's Place (Preschool) two mornings a week. They also now spend some time in the kid's center at the gym three mornings a week. (More on that in another post.)
So every now and then they come home with some new phrases or action that alternately confuses me or cracks me up.
Last week, it was a very mild form of backtalk.
Elnora does this thing where she'll go to the bathroom and then decide she has to go again five minutes later. She's been potty trained for eight or nine months and this "go again" thing comes and goes. (I'd imagine as her bladder grows? or just as she decides to annoy me...)
So last week, this happened again. She'd just gone and she was trying to convince me she had to go again. Now she was confined to the back porch with Emmitt while I was cooking dinner, so of course I figured she just wanted an excuse to get off the porch and come in with me. After quite a bit of pestering, I gave in and took her.
The second I set her on the pot, she started to go. In total seriousness, she looked me in the eye and said:
"Tooooold Yuuuuu!!"
:) Now I have no idea where that came from, but it did crack me up.
Story #2: The mystery jig
Like most kids her age Elnora loves to dance. I generally think nothing of her doing a little dance around the room or even trying to sing. But last Sunday, she really had me confused for a bit.
While she talks up a storm now and can say most any word, she's still VERY hard to understand. That means the first time she says something, it generally takes some figuring to see what she's talking about.
So here's what happened...
I was working on my laptop and she was in the living room hanging out with me. At one point I look over and she's flailing her arms and legs about saying
"ri ha in, ri ha ou" "laf ha in, laf ha ou"
Then she's spin in a circle while doing the chicken dance and spouting gibberish. Finally she'd clap her hands together and shout "about!"
Yeah, yeah, you're smarter than me and you've already figured it out. That's because I set the story up for you. I promise you, if you'd been here, you would have stared for at least five minutes before realizing she was doing the hokey pokey.
I'll guess she learned it at preschool. Either way, I think adding the chicken dance head bop was probably her idea.
If I get inspired this week, I may try and snag a quick video of her doing it. It's fairly amusing.
So what has your kid come home from school/church/friend's house/daycare with?
(Because seriously? I know none of you are working this week anyway...so spend a bit of time sharing a good story with the rest of us!)
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
This is totally off topic for the Lactivist, but it doesn't mean it's not a chance to spin it toward a Lactivist cause.
There's a dealio going on in my industry right now where a site has put together the "Top 40 Most Influential People in Search Marketing." I've made the list, though that's not really why I'm posting this.
They've opened the list up to votes. Whoever gets the most votes by the end of the year will have $500 donated to the charity of their choice. Obviously mine would be the Mother's Milk Bank of Ohio. So, here's one of those shots where a single vote from you (and some emails to your friends) can help me snag another $500 for an organization that desperately needs it.
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Remember how I've said my kids are as different as can be?
Elnora refused the breast, Emmitt refused the bottle. Elnora slept through the night from 7 weeks, Emmitt still doesn't at 14 months. Elnora's never been an eater, Emmitt's a human vacuum. Elnora was always independent, Emmitt's a snuggler.
Well, here's another one to add to the list.
Up until about six months ago, anytime you put Nora in the bathtub, she'd scream her head off. She HATED baths with the fire of a thousand suns. If it was a bath where you were washing her hair, she freaked out even worse. Absolutely hated the water. (which is part of why she doesn't get daily baths, lol.)
In the last month, Emmitt has become the polar opposite of that too. He not only LOVES the bath tub, but he's taken to trying to sneak in there. If we leave the door open, he makes a bee line for the bathroom and tries to climb into the tub. If I see him heading for the bathroom and beat him there in time to pull the door shut, he throws himself on the floor and pitches an absolute fit.
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Well, we've still got plenty of time for set backs, but the last week has gone fairly smoothly in terms of weaning.
In fact, Emmitt has gone to bed without nursing for seven nights in a row now.
It started last Monday. I was leaving for Chicago the next day to speak at a conference and was going to be spending the night while Greg stayed here with the kids. I thought it might be a good idea to try putting Emmitt to bed without nursing him, sort of to prepare him for Tuesday night.
We went in and I changed his diaper and got his pajamas on. Then we sat and rocked and I sang to him for a bit. I put him in his crib and tucked his blanket in around him and put an Emmitt sized teddy bear in there with him.
(We'd learned a few months ago that if Greg went in to take care of him in the middle of the night, the fastest way to get him back to sleep was to curl up with him in the spare bed. Emmitt would still wake up several times, but instead of crying, he'd roll over, grab Greg and go back to sleep. So, we thought we'd try giving him something he could cuddle.)
Sure enough, I only had to get up with Emmitt one time that night and it wasn't until 6am. I heard him at 1am and 3am, but he simply fussed for a minute and went back to sleep. My guess is he fussed, rolled over, grabbed "Grommit" and fell asleep again. (Yay!)
So, off I went to Chicago with prayers that Emmitt would fall asleep easily without me on Tuesday night.
Prayers answered.
I talked to Greg on Wednesday morning and he said Emmitt not only went to bed with NO problem, but he also slept through the night!
I was a little worried that since I'd been gone for a night, if I took Emmitt to bed on Wednesday when I got home, he'd want to nurse. So, I took Elnora to bed and Greg took Emmitt.
We've been doing that ever since.
We've had one night in the last week where he didn't want to go to bed and started fussing after Greg left. My mom was here that night and went in. She noticed his night light was off, so she turned it on, picked him up and rocked him for a few minutes. He quieted down immediately, burrowed into her shoulder and fell asleep.
Yay!
He's sleeping a little better at night too. Twice in the last week I've had to get up with him and nurse him back to sleep two times. Every other night, I've only had to get up and nurse him once during the night. (And two of those days, it was around 6am, meaning he'd made it from 9pm to 6am.)
And so, I call it progress. We've still got a ways to go to get him sleeping through the night and to have him weaned and it has taken two months to cut out the bedtime nursing, but we're getting there.
My advice to other moms who are weaning or planning to wean? Plan on it taking time. Lots and lots of time. As much as I want Emmitt to wean and as much as these last few months have been really rough on me (and by association, our family), I just wasn't ready or willing to cut him off.
I planned five months to get him weaned. We're about two months into that. I hope he'll be weaned by the end of the year, but we'll see how things go. If he hasn't weaned by New Years, I'll start using the night time weaning method recommended by Dr. Jay Gordon to try and speed things along a little bit.
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Well, still no luck moving forward with cutting out the before bedtime weaning session. As I mentioned, we came up to my parents' house for the long holiday weekend. We got here on Wednesday afternoon with plans to stay until Monday morning. I figured that gave us five nights for mom to try and put him to bed.
A fine and dandy plan, but Emmitt refused to sleep much in the car which meant no nap and a grumpy evening. I couldn't see the sense in adding to the grumpiness, so I went ahead and put him to bed on Wednesday night. Thursday morning he started acting insanely grumpy. I checked and his infected ear was just full of thick yellow mucus. By 11am, he was screaming bloody murder and inconsolable. He'd climb in my lap and immediately hurl himself to the floor, then he'd climb on Greg and scream to be let down. He did the same to my mom. The crying combined with tugging his ears had me calling the Drs office.
The on call doc called me back and we spent about twenty minutes chatting about symptoms and such. The doc said it sounded like he now had an outer ear infection to go along with the stubborn inner ear one. So, he called in a third round of antibiotics and some ear drops as well.
Needless to say, I didn't even try to have mom put him to bed that night.
On Friday, he was doing a lot better, but still not great. He was pretty calm around bedtime so mom took him up. Unfortunately, he wanted nothing to do with her. She spent about ten minutes trying to settle him, but he just kept fussing. (Not freaking out, just fussy) So, up I went to settle him into bed.
We'll see how things go tonight. He's laughing and playing with Greg right now, but he's been pretty fussy today. We're going to put their pajamas on, give him his meds, watch a Christmas cartoon and then mom will take him to bed. I figure I'll probably end up finishing the job again, but we'll see.
Good thing I have three months to wrap this up.
Curious though...I know many of you have night weaned your kids. Care to share how? If I could get him night weaned and could occassionally get some sleep, I'd be happy to keep the before bed session and work on weaning him from that starting at the end of January.
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I've been warned by many a parent of the need to watch what you say. Children are great mimics and the one and only time you blurt out #%@$@, they're bound to say it at the top of their lungs the next time you go to church.
What I hadn't considered was how literally they might take what you say.
This weekend we went to stay with Greg's parents for a visit. On Saturday afternoon the kids and I were in their living room with his grandmother. The Ohio State / Michigan game was on and being an OSU alum, it's obvious who I was rooting for.
If you hadn't imagined, I'm a fairly passionate person. In football season, that translates to "she-who-shouts-at-TV."
At one point during the game, the kids were playing on the floor with some wooden blocks. I was sitting near them in the recliner. Michigan had the ball and one of their running backs was working his way past some of our defense. OSU just was NOT getting the job done.
As he was picking his way through I shouted "Hit him! HIT him! HIT HIM!!!!"
A few seconds later, Greg's grandma started laughing. Apparently, when I shouted that, Elnora gave me a funny look and then slugged Emmitt.
Oops.
He didn't cry. I don't think she hit him very hard. And of course I couldn't really yell at her. She did what she thought I was telling her to do. :)
You can imagine how silly I felt trying to explain to a three year old that mommy was just yelling at the men on the TV (who couldn't hear her anyway) and she didn't REALLY mean that Nora should hit Emmitt.
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They say time moves so fast when you're a parent, that you turn around and your kids are going off to school. It never feels that way when you're up with them in the middle of the night dreaming of the day you can sleep again...but then the sun rises and you're packing lunches and getting them dressed for pre-school.
How does that happen?
She turned three last weekend. (On the same day Greg turned 35..."Happy Birthday" old man!) She spent a full week walking around the house saying "birthday cake, birthday hat" over and over and over. I'm not sure what sparked the hat bit...but I imagine the cake talk was sparked by how much she loved Emmitt's Cookie Monster cupcakes.
So, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday cake.
"Me want cupcakes." (Hey, remember when we thought she'd never talk? Progress!)
Me: "What do you want on your cupcakes?"
Her: "Know...." (translation: I have no idea...)
Me: "Would you like Blues Clues? Sesame Street?"
Her: Hmmmmmm
Me: "Maybe Curious George?"
Her: "Uh huh!! Me see monkey cake!!!"
This is the point at which I had a *headdesk* moment.
NEVER suggest a cake unless you know you can make it!
I spent the next two days pouring over Flickr feeds looking for ideas. The PBS site was a big let down. They show a fairly lame looking circle cake with two cupcakes tacked on for ears. It looks NOTHING like Curious George. Then I found this absolutely amazing Curious George cake on Flickr.
Now, if you've read this blog for any length of time, or follow me over at my day job...you know I'm fairly creative.
If you've ever browsed The Lactivist Store, you know that what I possess in creativity, I completely make up for in severe lack of artistic talent. This is why all of my shirts have text based slogans on them. ;)
So, I did what any good mother would do. I pulled down the image of that cake, opened it in Photoshop, created an outline of each part of the monkey, blew them up to the proper size and printed them out on my computer to use as templates. (What, that's not how YOU make cakes?) It was a good idea in my head, but ya know...you can't really use paper templates with frosting.
So I did the best I could. I showed it to Elnora and she immediately started shouting "Monkey cake!" so I figured that was a good sign.
The thing I really do like about this cake is the cupcake aspect. If you haven't seen these yet, you'll love the idea. A few months back, I noticed our local Meijer was doing cakes made of cupcakes set next to each other and frosted as if they were a layer cake. (You simply let the frosting flow over the cracks.) So, I decided to give it a try. I simply set the cupcakes next to each other while they were still a little warm. That let me push them close together to leave as few a cracks as possible. As you can see from the picture, the "frost it like a cake" idea worked pretty well.
When it came time to eat them, you simply grab a cupcake by the base and pull it apart from the rest. Voila! No cake cutting!
Of course no birthday post would be complete without at least one shot of a kid playing with their new toys. So...introducing, Elnora's kitchen. I think this may be the most excited I ever was to give a kid a gift. I just knew she was going to love it.
She's always migrated to kitchen sets and when I spotted this one, I knew it was perfect. It's just the right size, has plenty of storage for toys and is made of wood instead of plastic. (That way, when it's done being passed along from person to person, it can be burned rather than added to a landfill.)
I can't even tell you how many imaginary meals I've eaten in the last week.
And so, on November 11th, I officially became the parent of a preschool girl rather than a toddler girl.
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Look for a reflection on 12 months of nursing coming up soon...
For now, I want to throw this post up before it hits midnight and I'm too late. :)
Happy Birthday Emmitt!
We didn't have a big party, just my cousin and her boyfriend came over. Greg's parents are coming tomorrow, so I figured I'd do cupcakes. That way, even if we eat some, you can still "see" what the cake looks like. I ended up doing Cookie Monster cupcakes. They came out way better than I thought they might.
They were super easy to make too. :)
Bonus Video: Emmitt playing with a new ball last week.
Finally, a birthday story...
This morning, Nora, Emmitt and I were on the back porch and I was asking Nora if she remembered when Emmitt joined our family. She said she did. I asked her if she remembered where he came from (thinking she'd say the porch, because she was in the living room watching cartoons while he was being born on the porch.)
She looked at me and said "plane" while signing plane.
I laughed and said "Emmitt came on the plane?"
"Mmm-hmm...YEAH!"
Ok then. Apparently in our technology filled world, the stork has been replaced by the airplane.
...then again, this is the same kid who thinks all school buses are "going for ice cream." Man, is SHE in for a rude awakening...
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Emmitt is teething and a very big and not fun way.
For the last week, he's hardly eaten a thing (other than breast milk of course) and has been quite the unhappy boy. The not eating has led to diapers of the variety you never want to see, not to mention four, count 'em FOUR full blow-outs.
Sleep is no better. He's been up four times a night and takes at least an hour to get down for the night. (and that's only if I let him cry a bit...it'd be two hours or more otherwise.)
So, needless to say, I'm sleep deprived, stressed and have hardly had time for my "real" job, let alone my hobby sites. So, despite having a ton to say, I find myself having difficulty wanting to sit down and blog during the 30-60 minutes of free time I might get each day.
It won't last forever (I keep telling myself) but he only has seven teeth, so we've got a long way to go.
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We swooped back in to town last night, just in time for Elnora to start preschool this morning. She's going two days a week from 9am-11:30am at Mango's Place, the drop-in daycare center I've been using all summer.
It was interesting to watch the dynamics at play in the other kids and parents that were there this morning. There were probably six kids there by the time we arrived. The class only holds 10, so most had already shown up. Half the kids were crying and holding onto their parents (who were also crying.) The other half were quietly standing back by their parents, waiting to see what was going on.
Elnora walked in, headed over to the table, checked it out, went to a cubby, checked it out, looked at me, waved and said "bye ma!" I laughed to myself, went to the next room to drop Emmitt off and headed out the door.
She certainly is her mother's daughter.
I imagine at least some of my readers will make comments about how there's no need for kids to be independent at a young age, but I'll fully admit that I'm glad to see Nora developing an adventuresome spirit. She's never been clingy (unlike Emmitt who was a snuggle-bug from the moment he was born) and has been happy to go stay with her grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends since the time she was a baby.
The class is all 3 and 4 year olds, except for Nora. (She'll be three in November.) I talked to the teacher when I picked her up and she said Nora did great. (Though she wasn't ready to be done singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and kept asking for more verses during song time, lol.) I asked her if it was going to be a problem that Nora was so far behind in terms of speech, but she said she seems to hold her own quite well.
She's been coming along really well with her speech this summer. She can say almost all of her ABC's (about 4 letters trip her up) can say 8 of the first 10 letters (four and seven trip her up), and is speaking in full sentences now (In fact, while she stayed with my mom last week, she told her "Me go to wa-wa's [great-grandma] house, eat pancakes, mmmmm-mmmm good").
She's still clearly behind most kids her age, but she's catching up rapidly. I'm hoping by the end of the year she'll only be a little behind instead of a lot behind. In the meantime, those wheels keep spinning in her head.
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I'm back from San Jose and have tons of pics to sort through and tons of updates to post...but I'm still trying to dig out from under nearly 2000 unanswered emails. To top it off, Greg's grandmother fell and shattered her shoulder yesterday, so we're staying up waiting to hear how surgery went before heading to his family's place tomorrow so we can visit with her.
Then it's off to my parents for Labor Day. Thus, things will continue to be light here in terms of posting until summer ends and we get into September. Sorry for the slow posting.
In the meantime, I've shared quite a few picture of Emmitt lately, but not many of Elnora. So here are two shots my dad emailed me. (She's been staying with them since the 20th, I'll head up there on Wednesday.)
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I'll be back tomorrow with some super-strength back-posting and updating (including fun topics like "why I'll never volunteer to bump from a flight," "the day I nursed in a moving taxi" and "having lunch with another breastfeeding blogger." For now, I'm trying to recover from three nights of sleep that added up to a combined total of about 9 hours and from an unexpected extra day in Boston.
That said, since The Lactivist sort of serves as my "I'm too lazy to write this stuff down, so I'll just blog it to have the date remembered" tool...
Emmitt walked today! Yay!
Oddly enough, Greg and I were talking about how close he was to walking this morning. Emmitt and I had just gotten home and I mentioned I was glad he hadn't walked while we were away. Greg got to see Elnora's first steps and I was really hoping he'd get to catch Emmitt's as well.
Sure enough, about ten minutes after that conversion Emmitt stood up (on his own without holding onto anything) and took about five steps before grabbing hold of me and giving me a hug.
Yay!
Guess he couldn't beat Elnora on everything. This will mean they both walked right at ten months.
I'll try to snag some video of it this week to post to YouTube.
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Welcome to the eight "Carnival of Breastfeeding!" I'll be joining our usual round-up of breastfeeding bloggers and a few guest bloggers to post about the topic of what our kids say (and do) about breastfeeding. Granted, this one was a little more difficult for me than usual, since I had to rely on my kids for material. Since one is only 9 months and the other is a 2.5 year old that doesn't talk, that makes for a challenge.
Then again, I've never really shied away from those challenging posts, have I?
Elnora doesn't say much about mother's milk. She drank it exclusively from a bottle for thirteen months and enjoyed quite a few sippy cups of it in the first few months of Emmitt's life while I pumped for a friend. In fact, I've got twoposts in the archives about her reaction when she got her first sips of mother's milk months after she'd been weaned.
So most of my stories about Elnora and mother's milk revolve around actions and not words.
Like the time Emmitt was three months old and started crying while we had company. Elnora looked at him, looked at me, looked back and him and came over and tried to tug up my shirt while saying "E-ya Mana" which means Emmitt, Milk! Apparently she thought I was too busy talking to notice that Emmitt was hungry.
Or the time just last month when I sat down on the bed to nurse Emmitt and Elnora told me via sign language that SHE was going to feed him.
"How will you do that?" I asked.
She lifted her shirt and pointed at her nipple.
I laughed. "I'm not sure that's going to work Nora, only mommy's have milk."
She looked a bit dejected, but she put her shirt back down and went off to play with something else.
There have been at least a dozen times where she's wanted to use the breast pump as well, but I keep reminding her that she's not a mommy yet and doesn't have mommy's milk yet.
She's apparently all set to go somewhere down the line though.
Check out the rest of the posts in the Carnival of Breastfeeding:
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
It's a morning every parent remembers well...the day when your brain spins as you try to answer a simple question.
This morning as I was headed to the shower Greg looked at me and said "Did Emmitt wake up last night?"
I looked at him blankly, racking my brain.
"Wow! No, he didn't!" (Ok, he went to bed at 8 and got up at 11, but he hadn't gotten up since 11)
After a brief moment of celebration I had to laugh at the irony.
What irony?
Well, how 'bout the fact that last night we had a massive line of storms come roaring through. The thunder woke both Greg and I up (but not the kids) and the power went out not once, not twice, but three times. After the first (small) cell went through, Greg and I turned on the weather radar channel in the living room and watched the next line (a red blog the size of our county) head toward us. That meant we were up from about 2am to 3am.
On the other hand, I did get to sleep from 3 until 7:30, which is a pretty good stretch for me.
Here's hoping he does this again tonight, and tomorrow night and the night after that and the night after that...
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Judybright had a great idea. Why not have a quote contest on the picture of grumpy Emmitt in his "milk addict" shirt.
So, here's the deal. I'll give you guys until next Wednesday to post quotes in the comment section of this thread. I'll pick my five favorites and put up a poll to let everyone vote for the two days after that. (No anonymous quotes though, I have to be able to track you down.)
The favorite quote wins the item of their choice from The Lactivist store. (Have friends that also wish they had a Lactivist shirt? Invite them to come and submit their quotes as well!)
Could be fun, no?
So have at it...what's he thinking when he makes this face?
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Probably not, but man, this shirt sure looks like something I'd sell on my site!
I picked it up at Old Navy after one of the women in the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition emailed me to say she'd spotted them there. Cost me $8, which is way more than I'd usually spend on a onesie, but so worth it!
And isn't that the frowniest face ever? I can't even remember what I did to make him so sad/mad at me, but I had to snap the picture. Then I realized what shirt he was wearing and figured I also had to share it here.
When we went to our picnic on the 4th of July, Emmitt wore that shirt and I wore my black "Milk Jugs" shirt. We made a good pair. ;)
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
In the last six months, I've found myself having conversation in person or via email where people ask me "how I do all that?" They're referring to life with two kids, three businesses, helping launch the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition, working behind the scenes with breastfeeding moms, packing those bento lunches and a million other things.
I generally respond "Oh, I simply live life on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
They laugh and I laugh, but generally, I'm not joking.
There are women out there that can raise six children while running two businesses, keeping their house clean, giving their friends and husband proper attention and finding the time to work out and prepare healthy meals.
I'd like to kick these women.
Hard.
In the rear.
Ok, not really. I actually admire these women, but I wonder sometimes if they are doing it all and doing it well, or if they are also living life on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
I'm a perfectionist. Not in that I want everything to be perfect, but in that I don't like to show my flaws or admit my mistakes. I've got a little bit of Monica Geller in me. I NEED to be the host. I NEED to be the person that helps, I NEED to be the person that inspires. I NEED to be the person that appears to have it all together.
But as I grow into a bona fide adult (I'm 30 now, I think I qualify as a grown-up) I realize that life isn't about the apperance of being perfect. In fact, that appearance does nothing more than feed the fuel of making other women feel like they need to be perfect to...because if they aren't, something is wrong with them.
Jen can do it, why can't I?
Well, perhaps it's because you aren't writing out your ticket to the loney bin.
In the last month, I've realized a few things.
Instead of enjoying my time with my kids, I find myself waiting for nap time so that I can get some work done.
Instead of enjoying time with my husband, we've become roommates with a common goal of keeping two children alive.
My kids were watching way too much TV so that I had any chance of accomplishing things.
It was the middle of June and I only got to play outside with the kids once a week or so.
It made me sad. I was missing out on the very things that drove me to work from home to begin with. All because I was too busy trying to do everything. All because I'd convinced myself that eleventy billion things would fall apart if I wasn't the one running them.
And thus, I began to live life on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Then...the clouds parted and a little ray of sunshine came through.
My publisher, (the world's BEST boss) called to say he knew how stressed I was and knew how rough it was getting now that Emmitt is old enough to get into things. He wanted to help lighten the load a bit, so he asked his wife what she thought he should do for me.
She said "every woman dreams of not having to clean."
She was right. I hate cleaning and my house, while fairly organized, is often pretty dirty.
So he has hired a cleaning crew to come in once a week for the next year. They've been here twice now and I stand amazed at the difference it has made to my mental health to walk around a house that has a few toys scattered around, but that is actually clean.
Life was starting to look up again.
Help is a good thing.
Shortly after the cleaning company started, my laptop broke. Then the borrowed laptop broke. I spent a week hardly able to work, yet still desperately trying to work. I realized just how much "wasted" time I have in my day because I neither parent nor work effectively. Basically, I sucked at both.
That's when a friend suggested that I look into getting a break a few times a week.
I've long said that I'll outsource anything but child care. I have no problem with people who use day care for whatever reason, but for me, my children are my responsibility and I've long been adamantly opposed to leaving my children with someone other than family, close friends or the sunday school teacher.
I explained this to my friend and she helped remind me that while it was true that I was the one taking care of my kids, I wasn't getting to enjoy them.
Then I realized that it had gotten to the point that Elnora knew that if Barney is on PBS, Max and Ruby are on Noggin.
Man, that hit me hard.
I had been planning on sending Elnora to Pre-school in the fall as a way to get a bit of a break, but I found out that none of our local pre-schools would accept her because she won't be three until November. That left me with the option of part-time day care.
Mango's Place is a "drop-in" child care center about twenty minutes from me. They take children 8 and under and charge a per-hour fee. You can leave them for up to four hours at a time and simply call in the morning to reserve a space. They have a structured day with story time, play time, craft time, music time, etc. They're fully licensed and have all the benefits of a day care, but with the advantage of using them when YOU want to use them.
So I took Elnora yesterday to try it out. I dropped her off from 11:30-2pm while Emmitt and I went to have lunch with my sister-in-law and to ship my laptop in for repairs.
She loved it. In fact, as I was filling out the paperwork, she was tugging on the door to the play area while signing BOY PLAY, GIRL PLAY. When they let her in, she never even looked back, lol.
When I went to pick her up, the owner told me she had done great. She'd gone to the bathroom, she'd eaten the entire bento I'd packed for her, she'd read books, played with kids and when I asked Elnora if she'd had fun, I got an enthusiastic yes. Then the owner asked if I was looking for a pre-school.
Turns out, they are launching a pre-school in the fall in the same building and they will accept one 2.5 year old per class of ten. They had an opening in their morning class that meets two days a week. Plus, I can leave Emmitt there as well and he can play in the infant area.
There's a Starbucks across the street with wifi access.
That means I can drop the kids off two days a week for 3 hours and go work at the Starbucks. In fact, with no kids around, I can likely finish all of my work up in tha three hours. That means that when we get home, I can stay off the computer and spend my time with the kids or doing things around the house.
With that realization, I floated through the day yesterday.
I'm not wonder woman. I am NOT wonder woman. I AM NOT wonder woman.
But I'm starting to be a happy woman.
Sometimes, being a good mom means recognizing that you simply can't do everything. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. It took me a long time to realize that.
And remember...help doesn't have to mean hiring a cleaning service or paying for part time child-care. I realize how blessed I am to be able to do those things. But looking back, I can also realize just how many times I turned down an offer from a friend to baby sit or to cook a meal or to take the kids to the park so I could snag a nap.
I spent a long time trying to make sure I WAS the perfect mom and I realize now just how silly that was.
It's not about being the perfect mom, it's about being a great mom to your kids.
(Thanks for indulging me...here's hoping that this message gets through to at least one of my readers.)
They say time moves so fast when you're a parent, that you turn around and your kids are going off to school. It never feels that way when you're up with them in the middle of the night dreaming of the day you can sleep again...but then the sun rises and you're packing lunches and getting them dressed for pre-school.
So, I did what any good mother would do. I pulled down the image of that cake, opened it in Photoshop, created an outline of each part of the monkey, blew them up to the proper size and printed them out on my computer to use as templates. (What, that's not how YOU make cakes?) It was a good idea in my head, but ya know...you can't really use paper templates with frosting. 
Of course no birthday post would be complete without at least one shot of a kid playing with their new toys. So...introducing, Elnora's kitchen. I think this may be the most excited I ever was to give a kid a gift. I just knew she was going to love it. 
We swooped back in to town last night, just in time for Elnora to start preschool this morning. She's going two days a week from 9am-11:30am at Mango's Place, the drop-in daycare center I've been using all summer.
