Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Earlier this year I posted about a breastfeeding in public case here in Ohio that was being heard by the Ohio Civil Rights Commission. It marked the first time that the OCRC had agreed to hear a discrimination case of this type, setting the stage for the OCRC to hear future civil rights violation cases by other moms that have been discriminated against for breastfeeding their children.
If you missed the story, here's the gist.
or the first time, the Ohio Civil Rights Commission has found probable cause that a woman was discriminated against for trying to breast-feed.
Anna Swank of Blacklick filed a complaint Aug. 29, the same day she attempted to breast-feed her then-6 month-old son, Levi, in the Kids' Club at Lifestyle Family Fitness, 5929 E. Main St., after exercising.
Swank, 33, said she was feeding Levi when a manager told her that it was inappropriate, and that if she did it again her Kids' Club privileges would be revoked. She was told to go to a locker room.
It seems that rather than go through the entire court process, Lifestyle Family Fitness has decided to settle the suit. There are pros and cons to this decision (which I'll touch on in a moment) but first, let me share what the terms of the settlement are.
1. Within 60 days, they must submit to the OCRC new or revised customer service policies that affirmatively entitle a mother to breastfeed in their clubs. Any future changes to the policy must be submitted to the OCRC for approval before they can be put in place.
2. Within 90 days, they must take "reasonable steps" to notify all current members that its customer service policies entitle mothers to breastfeed in their clubs. New members must also be made aware of the policy.
3. Within 60 days, they must display the International Breastfeeding Symbol on a 12"x12" sign above, at or near the entrance of every Kids Club
4. Within 60 days, they must provide training to all employees concerning the provisions of the conciliation agreement and provisions of state and federal anti-discrimination laws. Training must be complete within 120 days.
5. Within 10 days, they must pay Anna $2,500.
6. Within 10 days, they must pay the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition $2,500.
7. They must submit annual compliance reports to the OCRC for the next 5 years.
While #6 is exciting for the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition (because it provides desperately needed start-up funds) it's #3 and #7 that caught my eye.
You see, it's pretty common for businesses to commit to training employees after an incident like this, but there's often no way to make sure it's really getting done.
The compliance report will ensure that Lifestyle Family Fitness will follow through for at LEAST the next five years. Quite honestly, I would hope five years of compliance will change the corporate culture enough that things will continue on as they should beyond that point.
I was also very interested to see the requirement of displaying the International Breastfeeding Symbol. While I love the fact that it was created, I think we have a long ways to go to get businesses and restaurants to display it. We also have a long way to go to make sure the average person understands it. Getting it displayed in these fitness centers is a great starting point and gives those of us here in Central Ohio more leverage to try and get other businesses to display it as well.
The last thing worth noting is what all of this means to the future of breastfeeding in public here in Ohio. You might recall that Jake Marcus and I were trying to figure out if this suit would set the legal precedence to give Ohio one of the strongest enforcement policies in the country by making breastfeeding a protected civil right.
Well, since the suit has been settled rather than going through a full trial, it doesn't set quite the precedence that we had hoped for, but there is still something interesting to note.
Anna explains:
...[The OCRC] actually found probable cause for discrimination under ORC 4112.02(G) - I was "denied full enjoyment of the accommodations, advantages, facilities, and privileges of a place of public accommodation for reasons not applicable to all persons regardless of sex."
So what does that mean?
Well, it means that even though THIS suit didn't quite accomplish what we hoped it would, it DOES set the stage for the Ohio Civil Rights Commission to hear future cases. That alone is a huge step since the OCRC had refused to hear cases in the past. (Including the case of Robin Neorr and City Kids Day Care.)
I also want to share that it wasn't long after I made my post in April that I was able to get in touch with Anna. I wanted to let her know about the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition and to see if I could offer any help in her case.
She's since joined forces with us and is now an integral part of the board of directors of the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition. Like the OBC's founder Robin Neorr, Anna decided to turn her experience into a positive by dedicating her time to building an organization that will help change the culture for other breastfeeding mothers.
Anna's also a Lactivist reader, so I'm also going to sneak in a "Hi Anna!" and an "I think you rock!" before wrapping up this post.
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Not because Emmitt still wakes several times a night, or because I'm getting only a few hours of sleep. Not because Emmitt is teething, or my laptop is broken and my online time is limited.
(Ok, maybe a little bit because of that...)
But because I'm so frustrated with women and lactivism right now that it's physically exhausting. After this week, I also now know why men run the world.
It started Tuesday. I spent most of the day at a meeting that by all accounts should have been a wonderful example of women coming together to move a great cause forward. Instead, it reinforced my belief that too many women spend too much time focusing on getting things their way to actually get anything of substance accomplished. There's too much focus on who gets credit, who gets say so and "how things have always been done" to have any chance at doing something amazing.
Then after spending a full day offline with computer problems, I returned to an email box absolutely stuffed with reader letters about the situation that took place in Denver at the Elitch Gardens Theme Park earlier this week.
If you aren't aware of the incident, here's a YouTube video of news coverage.
Now, let me be the first to say that I think what happened to this mother is horrible. Colorado state law protects a mother's right to breastfeed and neither the park employees nor the police officers had any right to ask this mother to move or to harass her. The mother (and everyone else) is entirely justified in being up in arms. I'm pretty ticked off about it myself.
HOWEVER...
When things like this happen, we have two choices in how we react.
1.) We can channel our anger into energy and follow proper channels to accomplish something that will have a lasting impact on our society.
or
2.) We can allow our anger to turn us into shrill, ranting women that gather a few minutes worth of publicity, but ultimately get written off as "those crazy, hormonal moms that want to cause another ruckus."
Tell me...which do you think is going to accomplish more in the long run?
Which is going to protect not only our rights to breastfeed any time any where, but to also change the culture so our daughters and our granddaughters don't even give the issue a second thought?
I want to note that I (along with several other experienced lactivists I keep in touch with) emailed this mom within a day of her original post to offer our assistance. I was (and still am) more than willing to step up and help any mother figure out the best way to approach a situation like this to ensure the best chance at a positive out come.
In this instance, I'm saddened to see that moms have let their anger overtake their rationality and I'm afraid the results are not going to be anywhere close to what they could have been.
Why do I say this?
Because along with watching the flurry of "shrill" emails (and thankfully a few well written, yet powerful ones) I'm amazed to see that a group of moms has contacted the media and planned a nurse-in for tomorrow. I'm amazed by this for several reasons...
1.) They've done this without any input from the mother that was harassed. Thus, they've co-opted someone else's issue without their support or their knowledge. Nurse-ins, when appropriate should happen WITH the original mother's backing and approval.
2.) They've given a single day's notice and planned an event on a holiday weekend, thus ensuring a less than stellar turn-out
and most importantly
3.) They've rushed into a reactionary response without taking the time to work with Elitch Gardens and to give the park a chance to rectify the situation.
In response to the news about the nurse-in, Elitch Gardens has released a statement on the incident:
Colorado State Law provides women the right to breastfeed anywhere. We also allow it in our park. Our concern was not that she was breastfeeding her child, but that she was exposed while doing so making several guests uncomfortable enough to bring it to the park management's attention. We suggested alternative options to Mrs. Skrydlak-simlai for her to continue breastfeeding her son in public while also allowing us to preserve a reasonable comfort level for the rest of our guests. We never asked Mrs. Skrydlak-simlai to leave the park or threatened to arrest her. At Eltich Gardens, we make every effort to provide a safe, fun and enjoyable place to all people, free of discrimination or judgment of any kind and we apologize if we offended Mrs. Skrydlak-simlai.
Now, I want to make a point here that I also made on the Mothering thread.
When you have an issue with someone at work, in your family, or in life...do you find that walking up to them and punching them in the face is a good way to get them to listen to your point of view and to come to a resolution?
No, it usually results in the other person getting extraordinarily defensive and totally unwilling to listen to any point you have to make.
Yes, if you are big enough and strong enough, punching someone in the face will *probably* get you your way. But will it get your way because you are stronger, or because you have actually changed their mind?
As I see it, moms that are new to the issue of lactivism and to the fight for breastfeeding rights have only a few reference points of how to fight the battle we wage daily.
They remember hearing about the nurse-in at The View. They remember hearing about the nurse-in at Victoria's Secret. They remember hearing about the nurse-in at Delta. They remember hearing about the nurse-in at the PA Mall.
Notice a common theme there?
Nurse-ins are what gets news and exposure, but they aren't always what accomplishes changes in policy and changes in attitude. In fact, a nurse-in that isn't paired with a specific call to action and a proposed solution accomplishes little more than a sound-byte on the six o'clock news.
The problem with this is that it often leads to a few angry moms calling for a nurse-in when they hear about something going on. In fact, one of the first responses I tend to see to any breastfeeding in public incident is "when's the nurse in?" or "I'll go to a nurse-in!" (Ok, to be fair, those are paired with oodles of what are often nasty emails to the company.)
Here's the deal though...
When an incident like this happens, we have one (maybe two) shots at press coverage before people get bored and move on to the next sound byte. That means that we have to make the most of that press coverage. Get the most leverage, make the best point, and have the best shot at instituting change.
A video clip of half a dozen (or even dozens and dozens of) angry breastfeeding moms shouting "Try eating with a blanket over YOUR head!" doesn't accomplish much. Sure, it enrages the people that already agree with us, but for those against us? It simply reinforces their belief that we're nothing more than a bunch of hormonal women with too much free time looking for something to complain about.
On the other hand, a well-thought out, properly planned nurse-in complete with talking points, media kits and moms experienced in public relations can result in news coverage that shows dozens of moms, feature thoughtful, articulate commentary and arms reporters with facts and data that make it far more likely they'll craft fair and balanced coverage.
When we jump on things without thinking them through, we run the risk of created wasted opportunity.
That's fine, you say. You're telling us what not to do, but you aren't offering up anything constructive other than to say "you shouldn't do that."
Ok, here's my advice. Take it for what you will.
If you ever find yourself facing a situation like this, here is what I suggest.
1.) Know the breastfeeding laws for where you are located. If possible, carry a card that cites the exact law in your state. If you are approached, calmly point out the law and ask them to leave you be. When you are finished nursing your child, ask to speak with a manager and calmly inform them about what happened.
2.) If you are threatened with arrest by the police, tell them that you will be happy to leave as soon as you get their names and badge numbers. (Whether they have the right to ask you to leave or not, if you refuse, you can be arrested for trespassing and/or resisting arrest.) When you return home, call their supervisors and calmly inform them what happened.
3.) Once you've done one and two, work your way up the chain of command seeking resolution. Write down names, dates and details about each conversation that you have.
Keep in mind that employees are often speaking their own minds, not that of their employees. Think of the number of times your children have said something that made you want to crawl out of your skin from embarrassment. Imagine if people held YOU directly responsible for what they've said rather than approaching you and giving you a chance to rectify the problem.
Now....
IF you've done the first three and have been unable to come to a resolution, I suggest the following:
1.) Contact someone with a public relations or law background that you trust. You might do this by going through LLL, your state breastfeeding coalition, or sites like mine. Work with them to formulate a plan. Figure out what you want and what the best ways to accomplish it might be.
2.) NOW you take the issue public. This is when you contact the media, the moms and everyone else for things like letter writing campaigns and press coverage. You give companies a chance to see how unpopular their policies are and to change them. Set a deadline for resolution.
3.) If you still haven't accomplished a change, now is the time to CONSIDER a nurse-in.
If none of the above work, then it's time to turn your attention elsewhere and to channel your frustration toward things that will change the culture. No matter how badly we want to get our way, we're not always going to and we must accept that. We do our best, we fight our hardest, and then we swallow the bitterness and we find new ways to work. We help other moms, we form coalitions, we lobby for legislation...we do the things that work.
But above all, we must maintain our focus and our civility.
Shouting gets you noticed, but it rarely earns respect.
When I ran into my problem with the Pork Board earlier this year, I didn't sit down and fire off angry emails and blog posts the moment it happen. I sat on it for three days. I considered my options, I spoke with trusted advisors, I weighed their advice and then I formulated a plan.
When Robin Neorr was discriminated against by City Kids day care because her daughter was breastfed, she spent more than a month trying to resolve the issue before approaching the media. Even then, no nurse-in was planned because the time simply wasn't right. Instead, Robin banded together with other mothers to launch the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition. City Kids still has not changed their policy, but Robin is thinking long-term. She's focusing on creating programs, lobbying for legislation and introducing new options that will not only eventually force City Kids to change their policy, but will also create a more positive environment for nursing mothers in Ohio.
Robin understands that patience is the name of the game and that outrage needs to be channeled into determination.
We're not going to change the world overnight, but we ARE going to change it. Every group that has ever struggled for rights and acceptance have had to wage a long battle to get what they rightly deserve. Why should we expect to be any different?
Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Yep...that's right. Ohio has joined the ranks of states that actually has an organized group aimed at promoting breastfeeding, pushing for new guidelines, lobbying for legislation and (hopefully) connecting moms with the resources they need to make breastfeeding work.
Robin Neorr (who you'll remember as the mom in the City Kids Day Care incident) has just filed the paperwork for launching the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition with the Secretary of State. In a few weeks, she'll be applying for tax exempt status as a registered non-profit.
We're hoping that the Lactivist Bash on April 21st will also serve as a "launch party" for the group. Robin will be running the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition and I'll be serving on the Board of Directors. She's not ready to announce the rest of the board just yet, but they should be in place by the launch next month.
Robin tells me that the first goal of the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition will be to get the guidelines for licensed day care centers amended so that no center can discriminate against breastfed children.
Even beyond that, we've got a lot to tackle. Ohio has one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the nation.
If you're an Ohio mom and you're interested in joining, (you don't have to live in Central Ohio, just in Ohio) you can register for the Ohio Breastfeeding Coalition email list that we've setup through Yahoo Groups. Robin will also be launching a blog shortly so that she can keep everyone up to date on the latest happenings, meeting minutes, etc...
So let's have some cheers for Robin! It's easy to complain about being treated poorly...it's a whole other thing to put the time and effort into launching a new group to make sure that other moms don't have to go through what you went through.
