Looking for The Lactivist? She's retired. But you CAN still find Jen blogging. These days, she's runs A Flexible Life. Join her for life, recipes, projects and the occasional rant.
Monday, March 26, 2007Ok, so it's more the forgotten child in this case, but I think it's still a greater point worth thinking about.
MamaBean and I've been emailing a bit today talking about this whole Anna Nicole Smith fiasco. There's been talk now about the number of drugs that were in her system not only when she died of an overdose, but also while she was pregnant with her daughter Dannie. What strikes me is that so much media attention is being paid to how Anna died, who gets her body and who gets her money. Sure, there's going to be a custody battle over little Dannie, but am I the only one that thinks whoever gets Dannie needs to know that ALL of that money is going into a trust fund that can't be touched by anyone but Dannie until she turns 21?
Wonder how many people would still be fighting for her then?
I see the same thing with the Britney Spear / Kevin Federline custody battle. I mean really...did you ever think you'd find yourself saying "yep, those kids are probably WAY better off with Kfed?"
I could cry for those kids. Not just for the kids of celebrities, but for all kids caught in nasty custody battles. For the child in the case I wrote about last month where the mom is nursing, but the dad insists on keeping baby for full weekends. The mom can't pump enough and her supply is failing due to the separation.
Even apart from custody battles, I see this...this focus on the parents and absolute ignorance about how things might impact the kids. My mom was telling me today about a news story she saw. A couple had intrauterine insemination and the wrong sperm was used. The baby is black. The parents are not. In a statement about the law suit that they've filed (and hey, I TOTALLY back a lawsuit in that case) the parents are quoted as saying "we love our child, but every time we look at her, we're reminded that she's not our daughter."
Can you imagine growing up and looking back on those news stories as a teen or even as an adult and reading a quote like that from your parents? (And let me make the obvious point that it was IUI, not IVF so the child actually IS the biological offspring of the mother.)
I've written about the fact that Lactivism needs to be about fighting for the rights of children rather than the rights of mothers. I strongly believe that and I honestly don't think we'll see real progress until we manage to make that point. That's fine and dandy for us lactivists and our own causes...but I just don't know how far we're going to go in life when society (and parents) places so little value on our kids.
Labels: Life as a Mom