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Saturday, June 24, 2006Umm...yeah...
"Should Mothers Breastfeed if it Disrupts the Marriage?"
There are two effects of breast-feeding that we often do not focus on. One is the de-eroticization of a woman’s body, as in her husbands eyes one of the most attractive parts of her body becomes, in effect, a cafeteria, and second it often means that a husband and wife can’t even sleep in the bed because the baby is either in the bed or the baby cries and takes all the mother’s attention.
So why we must always glorify the benefits of breast-feeding, if it begins to disrupt the marriage itself we have to begin to question if the family is better off with a baby on the bottle because no matter what benefits there are to a baby with breast-feeding, these would all be severely undermined if the parents marriage itself began to crumble.
Now...while I understand that ultimately, saving the marriage needs to take precedence over breastfeeding until a child self-weans...but let's think about this a little more and let's think about things that he COULD have said.
1.) He could have offered up suggestions on how a husband might help ease the "burden" of nursing for a mom so that she has a bit more time and energy. Things like dad getting baby and bringing baby to mom to nurse. Things like dad helping with the laundry, dishes, or whatever else mom might still be trying to handle on top of caring for a baby.
2.) He could have offered up suggestions on how a wife might work to share her needs with her husband and to make a true effort to make time for him. He could have suggested that the wife make sure she gets a scheduled "date" with her husband, even if it just means relaxing together on the couch.
3.) He could have turned to the Old Testament and the vast POSITIVE references of nursing that take place there. He could have noted that both Samuel and Moses were breastfed for YEARS, not months. He could have pointed out the beauty of God's design when it comes to providing food for a child.
4.) He could have suggested marriage counseling and pre-child counseling to help couples prepare for the life-altering reality that is parenthood.
But no... "if it's an inconvience, switch to bottle."
Yeah. That's just GREAT advice... /sarcasm