Comments on The Lactivist Breastfeeding Blog: Can You Believe in, Advocate and Support Something...

Of course you can believe in, advocate and support...

2007-11-26T21:44:00.000-08:00

Of course you can believe in, advocate and support something you don't do. As a previous poster said, she's pro-choice and has never had an abortion. I think that's really the very best example I've seen so far. Just because you support a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body doesn't mean that you would abort yourself, and you shouldn't have to 'practice what you preach' just to

"Can you believe in, advocate and support somethin...

2007-11-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

"Can you believe in, advocate and support something you don't do?" ABSOLUTELY! We do this all the time, and on most subjects (though obviously not weaning, if the brouhaha lately is any indication), reasonable people will agree that support is not measured by our degree of ability or inability to "do"--only by whether we believe in the ideal.

Non-Jews can believe in the rightness of a

You ask- can one believe in, advocate and support ...

2007-11-25T11:55:00.000-08:00

You ask- can one believe in, advocate and support something you don't do?

Well, of course. I support the veterans of our country but I am not one. I believe in / am pro-choice but have never had an abortion. My husband is pro choice and pro breastfeeding and can't do either one... I consider myself an environmentalist yet I use disposable diapers, and so on.

I read this blog pretty regularly, but I don't oft...

2007-11-24T02:37:00.000-08:00

I read this blog pretty regularly, but I don't often comment. This issue has really struck me, however. I can't help but see a parallel to pro-choice activism. Many, many women (and men) fall into the "personally opposed, but pro-choice" category. Does that make them not really pro-choice, simply because they wouldn't choose to abort, even though they have fought to make (or keep) that

1. Jen, clearly this hubub could have been avoided...

2007-11-22T20:57:00.000-08:00

1. Jen, clearly this hubub could have been avoided if you'd chosen the domain alactivist.com instead of thelactivist.com ;) Maybe you could have chosen "oneofmanylactivists.com" or , well I can't think of any other dumb domain names, sorry.

2. Some of you are clearly smoking crack, which I think is prohibited while nursing. Put down the pipes and put on your thinking caps. Or

Beth, I started writing a response to you and it e...

2007-11-22T18:26:00.000-08:00

Beth, I started writing a response to you and it ended up being something that needed to just be a whole new post.

You'll find it here.

QUOTE: The idea of nursing a toddler weirds me out...

2007-11-22T16:47:00.000-08:00

QUOTE: The idea of nursing a toddler weirds me out. /END QUOTE

It is this comment that saddens and disappoints me -- because it is coming from you. Yes, of course, you have every right to wean your son whenever you see fit. But here, on this blog, where you call yourself The Lactivist and where you've established yourself as a leader in the crusade for breastfeeding rights

Yes she is THE Lactivist. And she earned that name...

2007-11-22T13:42:00.000-08:00

Yes she is THE Lactivist. And she earned that name by standing up for the rights of nursing moms everyhwere. Jennifer spends much of her time and effort working to expand the right of breastfeeding moms, time and effort that could be spent elsewhere. But she spends it on breastfeeding. Why- because it's important to her.

I am offended that so many women seem to think that Jennifer's

Tell me, how many women do you know who have nurse...

2007-11-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

Tell me, how many women do you know who have nursed toddlers with plans to have done it all along? Because honestly? The majority of women I know who have nursed toddlers will tell you they never dreamed they'd be nursing a toddler. It just "happened."

But these women aren't going around calling themselves THE LACTIVIST.

Do what you want, but you might want to consider

One thing that I have NEVER understood is why us a...

2007-11-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

One thing that I have NEVER understood is why us as parents have every right and responsibility to decide where our children go, what they eat and drink, what toys they have, what tv they watch, what they can and can not have when they walk through the aisle of a store- even when they may cry or kick or scream and demand! But when, in the very same manner, we say "no" to nursing (whether it be

"I was a great mom before I had kids."We have idea...

2007-11-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

"I was a great mom before I had kids."

We have ideals of what we think we're going do, allow, etc. Then, life happens. We find we judge other mothers as badly as we judged what other girls wore to school in high school. It's really quite stupid and petty. We're only looking to feel good about our parenting.

Recently, I've tried to be less judgemental of mothers and to look at

Jennifer,I don't have any children, so I of course...

2007-11-22T09:10:00.000-08:00

Jennifer,

I don't have any children, so I of course have no personal experience with breastfeeding. However, I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I've come to appreciate the way you lay out things realistically. You give us the facts, the ups and the downs of your experiences, and I think that's important. Women should know that breastfeeding is not going go be easy, and

I cant wrap my head around how nonsensical these j...

2007-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

I cant wrap my head around how nonsensical these judgments are. Its not like you're talking about weaning a 3 month old!
My whole life my parents boasted to me that I was breastfed for 18 months (in 1977). They made it seem like FOREVER and that my mom was a super hero. My sisters were breastfed for 15 and 11 months (the last set were twins). Hooray!
This made my decision to

What is it about waving the 'honesty' flag that ma...

2007-11-22T06:54:00.000-08:00

What is it about waving the 'honesty' flag that makes one think the next statement is somehow 'okay', regardless of content?

If I say, "listen, I am just being honest, but, you are one fat, lazy, uneducated person", my claim of honesty makes the statement no less tolerable.

That you continue to say the words 'weird' and 'breastfeeding' in the same sentance is just SO wrong.

This sounds an awful lot like the reasons women ch...

2007-11-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

This sounds an awful lot like the reasons women choose not to breastfeed at all. I don't know how many times I've heard - "Sure it's good for the baby, but having a happy mom is better!" I think most lactivists would agree that every baby is entitled to breastmilk.

So is it acceptable then for a mom to quit breastfeeding at 3 months because she feels the same way you do? Or should we

This whole situation is very sad. You act as if br...

2007-11-22T05:30:00.000-08:00

This whole situation is very sad. You act as if breastfeeding women are martyrs and it's such a horrible sacrifice. You call yourself a lactivist and yet you think nursing toddlers is weird? You're not the kind of woman I want representing breastfeeding. Guess what: lack of sleep, lack of privacy, lack of personal time - that's life with children. Grow up, get off the cross and give your baby

Ok, so I've read both your posts here and all the ...

2007-11-21T21:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've read both your posts here and all the comments associated with them. I have not gone to that other forum and read what happened over there. I've been going to message boards, email lists, blogs,etc. since my almost 9yo was an infant so I've seen enough judgmental drivel to last me a lifetime. My time is too limited to choose to read more of it.

But by reading what you and

Man Heather! I kinda feel like that deserves a big...

2007-11-21T20:47:00.000-08:00

Man Heather! I kinda feel like that deserves a big ole' round of

AMEN!

I weaned my daughter at 17 months, even though I w...

2007-11-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

I weaned my daughter at 17 months, even though I wanted to go for two.

Why? Part of it was that she was ready. I did just as you did; I gently started dropping sessions, and instituted "don't offer, don't refuse". The last time she asked, and I said "not tonight, sweetheart" she rolled over and went to sleep, and that was that.

The main reason though? Her nursing style had

See, here's the thing.This blog is about being hon...

2007-11-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

See, here's the thing.

This blog is about being honest and about helping people to see that life is about growing and learning.

I share what I believe because I believe it. I don't sit down and try to figure out what people want to hear and then write that.

The world already has enough people putting on an act for the public to keep their poll numbers up. They don't

My Husband supports breastfeeding and is also pro-...

2007-11-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

My Husband supports breastfeeding and is also pro-choice. He can do neither (breastfeed or have an abortion).

So, the answer is pretty simple... yes, you can support something that you can't/won't do yourself.

It just makes me really... sad, I guess, that the ...

2007-11-21T19:10:00.000-08:00

It just makes me really... sad, I guess, that the thought of a nursing "toddler" weirds people out in general. So to hear that coming from "the lactivist" is bothersome, yes. If it's not "normal" for you, then how will it ever be normal for ordinary women who aren't "lactivists"?

I wonder if the day will ever come where people won't think it's strange to nurse a child past a year. I hope

Of course it doesn’t , and people do it every.sing...

2007-11-21T18:03:00.000-08:00

Of course it doesn’t , and people do it every.single.day. Whether it be about caring for the environment, spiritual beliefs, childrearing, how you deal with your relationships, whatever the topic, there is an ideal you have in your head, and then there is your reality, and you do your best to match them up. That’s life!

In the case of motherhood/parenting in general, women's tendency